The Treadmill
Aug 14, 2019
I feel like I have been living on a treadmill lately, moving swiftly from one thing to the next. Working in the morning, taking care of the kids in the afternoon. Making the grocery list, doing the grocery shopping, cooking the food, eating the food, making the kids eat the food, cleaning up the food, repeat. Same with laundry, picking up toys. It is all on repeat.
Even the fun things are done on the treadmill. We have had a summer packed with fun. We have been to the parks, train restaurant, kiddie amusement park, the pool, the splash pad. We have played in the back yard, with the sprinkler, with sand, with the water table. We have grilled, we have gone out to dinner, we have gone to car shows with poppy. We have been so incredibly blessed to do two fun summer weekends at the lake. I am beyond grateful to all our hosts. I have even done fun things by myself. Dinners with friends, shopping solo, date nights, and my morning walks and weekly workout classes. And it has been so much fun. But it has all been done on the treadmill, moving from one thing to the next.
Today, the treadmill continues, as school starts for Matthew. I love routine. In fact, I thrive in it and a more concrete schedule makes me giddy with happiness. So today, I will pack the backpack, I will help him put on his shoes, and I will show him the school PEC. He will jump up and down with happiness when the bus pulls up to our house (hopefully, I never got the call with the exact time yesterday). And our life on the treadmill will continue.
Don’t get me wrong. I love running and walking, so the treadmill is a great place to be. But I wish I was outside. I wish I was walking a little bit slower and taking in a deep breath as the seasons change from summer to fall. I wish I was seeing it all as it happens.
While I am very happy—my life is everything I want it to be—I wish I was enjoying it more. I wish I would stop to enjoy the small moments. I wish I would just stop to breath sometimes. I am so busy packing bags and unloading the dishwasher and starting dinner and planning our next fun activity that I am forgetting to look up at the sweet faces who are watching me.