Dear Matthew
Oct 31, 2019
On your fifth birthday, big boy, I need to share something important with you.
A mom recently shared that the best advice she ever received was this: “The world will never adjust to your child. Your child has to adjust to the world.”
It makes my heart sad. And a little bit angry to hear that a licensed therapist is giving that type of advice out to parents—or anyone really.
The first part is absolutely true. The world will never, ever adjust to you. It is what it is. Broken. Know that.
But you, my son, do not need to change who you are to fit into this world. In fact, don’t, please, ever.
As long as you aren’t hurting anyone else, emotionally or physically, do you.
If you want to come home from school, line up cars for an hour, and then watch them each go down the slide, one-by-one, to decompress and relax, go for it. Please realize your little sister might come over and intentionally or unintentionally interrupt your perfectly planned game, but once she is done, go right back to doing what makes your heart happy.
Or if you want to sit in a church pew and read a hymnal cover-to-cover, while everyone else is singing a modern worship song, please do. Worship how you want to worship.
If you need to turn your back slightly at the dinner table because your little sister has balsamic all over her hands and face and it is making you clearly, very uncomfortable, feel free to turn your back. We see how hard it is for you to even sit at the table with us. We appreciate that you joined us.
But know this. The “world” is a hard place for everyone. People will absolutely stare, and judge and some will even make very, very rude comments. It is just the nature of this place that we live in.
Just continue being the very best version of who you are. Do what you love. Do what makes you happy. Be Matthew—the very best Matthew you can possibly be. That is important too. Strive to be the best you can possibly be. But don’t ever apologize or feel bad about being Matthew. Ever. And know that God, and mommy, and daddy, will always love you, just as you are.